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Expanding your circle of compassion 07-28

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And then I thought I would share with you what that method is, or one of them. A famous one, it's called the "Sevenfold Causal Method of Developing Compassion." And it begins first by one meditating and visualizing that all beings are with one -- even animals too, but everyone is in human form. The animals are in one of their human lives. The humans are human. And then, among them, you think of your friends and loved ones, the circle at the table. And you think of your enemies, and you think of the neutral ones. And then you try to say, "Well, the loved ones I love. But, you know, after all, they're nice to me. I had fights with them. Sometimes they were unfriendly. I got mad. Brothers can fight. Parents and children can fight. So, in a way, I like them so much because they're nice to me. While the neutral ones I don't know. They could all be just fine. And then the enemies I don't like because they're mean to me. But they are nice to somebody. I could be them."
And then the Buddhists, of course, think that, because we've all had infinite previous lives,we've all been each other's relatives, actually. Therefore all of you, in the Buddhist view, in some previous life, although you don't remember it and neither do I, have been my mother -- for which I do apologize for the trouble I caused you. And also, actually, I've been your mother. I've been female, and I've been every single one of yours' mother in a previous life,the way the Buddhists reflect. So, my mother in this life is really great. But all of you in a way are part of the eternal mother. You gave me that expression; "the eternal mama," you said. That's wonderful. So, that's the way the Buddhists do it. A theist Christian can think that all beings, even my enemies, are God's children. So, in that sense, we're related.
And then the next thing we do is what is called "mother recognition." And that is, we think of every being as familiar, as family. We expand. We take the feeling about remembering a mama, and we defuse that to all beings in this meditation. And we see the mother in every being. We see that look that the mother has on her face, looking at this child that is a miracle that she has produced from her own body, being a mammal, where she has true compassion, truly is the other, and identifies completely. Often the life of that other will be more important to her than her own life. And that's why it's the most powerful form of altruism. The mother is the model of all altruism for human beings, in spiritual traditions.And so, we reflect until we can sort of see that motherly expression in all beings.
And this is the way you do it. You take any being who looks weird to you, and you see how they could be familiar to you. And you do that for a while, until you really feel that. You can feel the familiarity of all beings. Nobody seems alien. They're not "other." You reduce the feeling of otherness about beings. Then you move from there to remembering the kindness of mothers in general, if you can remember the kindness of your own mother, if you can remember the kindness of your spouse, or, if you are a mother yourself, how you were with your children. And you begin to get very sentimental; you cultivate sentimentality intensely.You will even weep, perhaps, with gratitude and kindness. And then you connect that with your feeling that everyone has that motherly possibility. Every being, even the most mean looking ones, can be motherly.
But anyway, that's the "lovely love. " And then finally, the fifth step is compassion, "universal compassion." And that is where you then look at the reality of all the beings you can think of. And you look at them, and you see how they are. And you realize how unhappy they are actually, mostly, most of the time. You see that furrowed brow in people.And then you realize they don't even have compassion on themselves. They're driven by this duty and this obligation. "I have to get that. I need more. I'm not worthy. And I should do something." And they're rushing around all stressed out. And they think of it as somehow macho, hard discipline on themselves. But actually they are cruel to themselves. And, of course, they are cruel and ruthless toward others. And they, then, never get any positive feedback. And the more they succeed and the more power they have, the more unhappy they are. And this is where you feel real compassion for them.
So, practice compassion, read the charter, disseminate it and develop it within yourself.Don't just think, "Well, I'm compassionate," or "I'm not compassionate," and sort of think you're stuck there. You can develop this. You can diminish the non-compassion, the cruelty, the callousness, the neglect of others, and take universal responsibility for them.And then, not only will God smile and the eternal mama will smile, but Karen Armstrong will smile.
Thank you very much. (Applause)

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